one little apple, one big world

22 Sep

Three months of clothes all bundled up!

“We salute at the threshold of the North Sea of my mind, and a nod to the boredom that drove me here to face the tide…and swim”

And here it is, the last night before my departure. After all the daydreaming, talking, googling, planning (or lack thereof), saving, shots (tetanus: ouch), and goodbyes, I’m finally on the very brink of realizing one of my biggest dreams: travel. And the challenge there? To go it alone. Scary? Sorta. But really, at this very moment, I’m consumed with excitement and gratitude. This is a dream 10 years+ in the making, something that I’ve always wanted to do, but always wondered if I actually ever would…or could…or should for that matter. But the reality is that this darn longing to travel has been nagging at me for way too long, and I’m dying to figure out why I feel so compelled to venture into the unknown.

The support that I have felt from my parents and sisters, my boyfriend and his family, and my friends has been overwhelming, and I’m filled to the brim with love and encouragement. Any doubts and second guesses have long been forgotten (well, as of yesterday, perhaps), and I couldn’t imagine venturing out without my army of supporters cheering me on.

Everything is packed and ready to go.  I opened with the lyrics from one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands, Frightened Rabbit (a band that’s not for everyone, it’s true), and if you feel so inclined to read them, here are the rest:

SWIM UNTIL YOU CAN”T SEE LAND

We salute at the threshold of the North Sea
in my mind
And a nod to the boredom that drove me here
to face the tide and swim
I swim

Dip the toe in the ocean. Oh how it hardens and it numbs.
And the rest of me is a version of man
built to collapse into crumbs
And if I hadn’t come down
To the coast to disappear
I may have died in a land-slide
Of the rocks, the hopes and fears.

So swim until you can’t see land.
Swim until you can’t see land.
Swim until you can’t see land
Are you a man or are you a bag of sand?
Swim until you can’t see land
Swim until you can’t see land
Swim until you can’t see land
Are you a man or are you a bag of sand?

Up to my knees now, do I wait? Do I dive?
The sea has seen my like before though it’s my first
And perhaps last time.
Let’s call me a Baptist, call this the drowning of the past
She’s there on the shoreline
Throwing stones at my back

So swim until you can’t see land
Swim until you can’t see land
Swim until you can’t see land
Are you a man or are you a bag of sand?
Swim until you can’t see land
Swim until you can’t see land
Swim until you can’t see land
Are you a man or are you a bag of sand?

Now the water’s taller than me
And the land is a marker line
All I am is a body adrift in water, salt and sky

So swim until you can’t see land
Swim until you can’t see land
Swim until you can’t see land
Are you a man or are you a bag of sand?
Swim until you can’t see land
Swim until you can’t see land
Swim until you can’t see land
Are you a man or are you a bag of sand?

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9 Responses to “one little apple, one big world”

  1. Vickie Jackson September 22, 2011 at 8:15 am #

    April, I can’t even express the excitement I feel for you as you get ready to embark on this great adventure. Tonight I remembered the things that I should have told you earlier:
    1)Grab a blanket/pillow as soon as you get on the flight because later you will wish that you had it. Also keep your socks nearby so when your feet are cold you can throw them on.
    2)Granola bars and peanut butter crackers are your friend when you are hungry.
    3)Don’t forget to smell the plumeria (if there is some nearby), or whatever local flowers as you may not pass that way ever again.
    4)Remember that not all stones and ground are solid so don’t trust every ledge or path that is on the edge of a cliff! Watch your step.
    5)Remember that even though you can’t see us and we can’t see you that we aren’t forgetting about you. You will see the same big MOON and SUN that we are looking at every day! 🙂

    Love you!
    Vickie

  2. Rick Jackson September 22, 2011 at 3:44 pm #

    April,
    Have an amazing time. Chase the dreams, leave the fears. You are not a bag of sand, but then, you are not a man either 🙂 Keep us posted. Love you!

  3. Jamie September 22, 2011 at 4:54 pm #

    Poopska!!!!

    You are off!!!!! Enjoy every single moment! Take it all in!! No regrets, only lessons learned.
    I love you and miss you already!!!!

    THC por vida!
    aksdjkfasdpfjsdpfojsdpfpoopfajklfjsdklajlskakadfiopfisdoploveklajkldfjklasjdflyou.
    xoxoxo
    -poopska

  4. Colleen Vizents September 22, 2011 at 5:17 pm #

    Hey April, I am so excited for you and the adventures that lie ahead. I can’t wait to read what South Africa has instore for you. Smooches
    Travel safe,
    Colleen

  5. Kai September 22, 2011 at 6:50 pm #

    Hola Manzanita,

    thanks for starting this blog (I wish “they” had had something like this when I was traveling). I will read it religiously whenever I have a free moment to try to catch up with your adventures and see how you’re doing; I will live vicariously through you, at least for the next three months. 🙂
    I’m experiencing a funny mix of feelings consisting of fatherly pride, jealousy, and worry right now. Any hair on my head that might turn gray between today and December 20 or – perish the thought – jump ship (as it were) will be on your account. So know that and live with it!
    I know you will have a wonderful time experiencing exotic places and people. These will be memories you will cherish for the rest of your life. I am very happy for you.

    Love,

    Dad

  6. Lindsey September 22, 2011 at 7:14 pm #

    I love you and as sad as I am to see you go, I am so F’ing happy for you! Dive into all of it, just as I know you will and come back and show and tell and teach all of us about what we are missing… you are such a strong woman and I am so proud of you. Today I sadly wave the good bye flag, but I look forward to the day I wave the welcome home flag… I love you!

  7. Vickie Jackson September 23, 2011 at 8:03 am #

    Have you made it to BRAZIL yet? I am a bit overly anxious I suppose because I have secretly always wanted to go to Brazil and see that huge Niagra Falls twin that is supposedly much larger. Hmmmm…can’t recall the name of the place but I hear it is magnificent. So happy to be seeing the world from your eyes and your pocketbook.

    When you return can we please put up an old fashioned slide projector and have you tell us all about everything you have seen? Years ago that was an activity that some my family did often and we got bored watching but now I think I wish we had that opportunity again. Let’s start that all over again and watch yours on a big screen projector and you can have one of those long poles pointing at the pics! 😉 ENJOY!!!

    Vickie

  8. Big Sissy September 25, 2011 at 12:48 am #

    sissy! i’m so excited for you!!! i can’t wait to see all the pics (did my camera end up working?) and hear all the stories!!! make sure you skype me soon. love you, miss you XOXOXOXOXO

  9. Scott October 12, 2011 at 2:37 pm #

    Dear April,

    Keep it up. I stumbled upon this on Facenonsense, and I’m happy that I did. Have safe and wonderful travels, and always know that no matter how small we may feel, our impact on others is at least positively ten-fold what we think. Stay writing and well wishes your way.

    Sincerely,

    Scott Dozer

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